Life After Quitting Hormonal Birth Control

November 02, 2019


I took the morning after pill again yesterday. It was the 3rd time in over 13 years of engaging in nocturnal activities that I took a trip to the pharmacy for emergency contraception. All of those times were in the past 4 years, the amount of years that I quit my birth control pill. Nothing crazy happened, the condom got stuck, just like all the other times I took the morning after. You always hear about condoms tearing or leaking, never once in my life did I think I had to consider that one could get stuck in my greedy little hoohaa. They do and to be absolutely sure there won't be a baby popping out of my lady parts in 9 months, I thought I'd surrender myself to a bomb of emergency hormones. I almost fell over when the pharmacist asked me for 30€. Oh my goodies, choosing to quit hormonal birth control is freaking expensive, I thought.

I was on the pill for 8 years and it was so cheap compared to what my expenses are now. Condoms, lube, emergency contraception, I miss my 16 year old fanny - she was a good sport. My sex life now is great but everything is just so calculated when you're only using condoms. I guess that is what adulting is about. I've looked at other types of birth control and needless to say that after 8 years being miserable on the pill - almost all of them scare the shit out of me. Either you get a medical device shoved inside of you or it involves taking some type of medication. Non merci. Call me ignorant but none of them even seem remotely vagina friendly to me. Everything looks like torture devices that could start rotting or cutting inside of you at any moment. It will probably take a while before I'll change my mind.

When I was younger, long term relationships were believed to be the pathway to condomless sex - the ultimate goal. Now that I'm almost 30 and do not participate in condomless lovemaking, I wanted to find out if it's actually common for people to use them in long term relationships. I love using them because I literally can't think of anything more hygienic. So, I did some digging on the googles and surprisingly a lot of people actually like it. So why is no one talking about it? Do condoms still get a bad rap in 2019? I stopped dating quite a long time ago, so I wouldn't know. The only thing I do know is that both my partner and I care about each other's health and well being and it's what works for us. We can buy them whenever we want, we don't need a doctor or a prescription, it's visible protection, no one's on medication they don't want to take and they're overall just great. Apart from when they get stuck in your vagina (demonetisation here we come). That's a problem.

Life after quitting hormonal birth control is great. I feel really good, I'm healthy and happy but I do wish condoms would be more affordable. I understand that they need to be perfectly manufactured but practising safe sex is rightly emphasised as important so why are they so expensive when it's the only contraceptive that is readily available. Being charged €1,30 per fuck is outrageous. No wonder I forget to pack them when I'm going on holiday.

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