30 Things I Learned In 3 Years Of Therapy

3 years ago I walked into my therapist's office for the first time. I'd been advised by a psychotherapist and a psychiatrist to check into a mental health unit which I declined, so following that I was sent to the one and only therapist that they had available at their own public facility. It was rough, I was considered a danger to myself by a doctor, and some weirdo, and then told by this new person, a random mental health counselor, that there wasn't anything wrong with me. I was so mad, little did I know that she'd help me turn my life around, forever. I'm no longer the person I was when I walked in there, I've grown so much since then. Things are not perfect today but I'm well on my way to become the healthiest and happiest version of myself. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't think I'd still be in therapy now. I'm trying to be patient, to be at peace with my journey and to allow myself to heal at my own pace. As a reminder of how far I've come I made a list of 30 things I learned in therapy in the past 3 years. I hope you can learn something from it too and that if you are having a hard time, it will help you remember that you can make a change and if not now, later. Don't make yourself feel guilty for things you can't do, I promise it's not going to rain forever.

1. you're not responsible for someone else's feelings

2. there's a difference between manners and boundaries

3. mental illness and trauma never take a day off

4. it doesn't matter how calm you speak or how hard you scream, no one will ever truly understand how much you are hurting, you need to be in touch with your truth

5. feelings are like visitors, they're temporary

6. you need to be able to forgive yourself before you'll be ready to forgive others

7. no one is entitled to your affection

8. the reason why you work so hard on yourself is not because there's something wrong with you, it's because trying to change the people around you isn't a solution for your pain

9. you are going to upset people when you put yourself first

10. it's never too late to check yourself and right your wrongs

11. you're choosing for you because no one else will, choose yourself over everything

12. suffering from anxiety can cause severe physical pain for long periods of time

13. it gets worse before it gets better

14. treating yourself with respect comes with buckets of guilt

15. an apology won't fix you, acknowledge your pain and let it go

16. judge someone by their actions not by your assumptions, feelings are not facts

17. self improvement is isolating

18. it's not your fault

19. facing your fears doesn't mean throwing yourself into the deep end

20. it's okay to distance yourself from family members

21. feeling overwhelmed often is a sign of healing

22. you are not someone else's problem

23. managing your ups and downs will get easier over time

24. a lot of people don't actually love themselves

25. change is scary

26. being in touch with your inner child is of utter importance

27. happiness isn't about a job, a degree or being in a relationship, you are whole, you don't need something or someone to complete you

28. you need to be careful about those who only reach out when they need you(r help)

29. there will be times where you'll doubt every decision you make

30. you are good enough

Feel free to share something you've learned yourself, online, from a friend, your doctor or your counselor below in the comments. What is some of the best advice you've ever been given? I'd love to know your thoughts.