I talk beauty & mental health

Thursday, 4 October 2018

5 Ways I’ve Been Living A Happier Life

Jolien Nathalie

Apart from going to therapy, there are a number of things that have changed my life tremendously this past year. As I've gotten to learn more about self care and about how important it is to take time for yourself, I've been focussing my energy on making sure that I listen to my body and that I'm aware of my needs. Physically, mentally and spiritually. Finding yourself and discovering what makes you happy, nurturing that forever feeling of wanting to know and learn more, is a journey and one that's only started for me recently. This didn't happen all at once, this was hard work and, oh, so many tears. It was a slow process but here we are, 5 ways I've been living happier life!

I embraced my own idea of living a minimalist lifestyle

I've learned that letting go of rules and discovering what works for you is very important to grow as a person. I wouldn't say I'm an actual, true minimalist but when it comes to how everything is organised in my home now, I'm well on my way! It started with a massive declutter of all my personal belongings and it slowly but surely turned into an entire minimalist apartment makeover. My closet has massively decreased in size (now that I've thrown out all those clothes I held onto from 10 years ago), I got rid of all the second hand furniture that I owned since I was a student and replaced it by bigger and cleaner (investment) pieces. Everything that was old, that I wasn't using and that wasn't benefiting me in any way is gone. I also no longer keep anything that I just 'might' use, in the future. I either use it or I don't and if I don't - I try to sell or donate it. Marketplace on Facebook is a good place to start if you want to make some coin selling your furniture or clothing. To avoid having to ever do this amount of decluttering again, I now have the 'One in, One out' rule. If I want to bring something new into my house, I need to let go of a similar item, which makes me shop less and in a much more conscious way. My home has never been cleaner and organised. I feel as if this is the first time that I can actually relax and feel comfortable and happy in my own space, which is something I never experienced before.

I stopped trying to be perfect

A common symptom of anxiety and depression is perfectionism. I've been a perfectionist pretty much my whole life and it absolutely stood in the way of my personal growth. Perfectionism is the enemy of progress and it took me the longest time to understand what that actually means and why I was standing in my own way. As a child I was punished for making silly mistakes, I was punished for things that were completely out of my control and never my responsibility in the first place. It caused me to have this weird idea of always having to get everything right. I wanted to keep my head above water, when I was actually drowning. When I realised that my perfectionism was motivated by fear I was finally ready to let my guard down. It's hard, but it feels so much better not to try to get everything perfect, to teach myself that I can learn from my mistakes. I used to feel like the world was falling apart when something wasn't right. I had to accept that some situations really are out of my control and that when things go wrong it's not about who's fault it is but about taking responsibility for your actions and really reflect on what is important.

Jolien Nathalie

I'm listening to funny yet educational podcasts 

Not having a big friend group, I often miss having deep, emotional and intense conversations and that is what podcasts are to me. It's content that makes me feel like I'm actively involved in something. For someone that doesn't leave the house often, that's quite a nice feeling to have. I'm a very sarcastic person with quite a dark sense of humour and trough podcasts I've discovered that I share these traits with many other people and its made me find a comforting sense of belonging. I love listening to episodes whilst doing chores or even while writing content for my blog. My favorite podcasts at the moment are: Adventures In Roommating, Tiger Belly, The Read, No Lies Detected and Keeping It Candid. Even though all podcasts are very different from each other they actually do have 3 things in common, that I appreciate so very much: they make me laugh (hard), they make me cry (sometimes a lot) and they teach you so much about personal growth and personal development. 

I found an easy way to journal

Journaling, for me, had to be something sensational - no wonder I let myself down time and time again because - that's not what life is. I tried keeping a diary my entire life but I've never actually been successful at it, I just ended up hoarding piles and piles of empty notebooks, it was hopeless. I did keep a scrapbook when I was 16 about a 2,5 year relationship and then another scrapbook years later about another relationship - but I burnt the first one in the fireplace and then the second scrapbook, that I still have, is so embarrassing that I don't even want to open it. It's a book filled with so many emotions that it's honestly better left catching dust under my bed. So, after trying to journal for more than 2 decades I finally found a diary at Waterstones, with a concept that I'd seen before, but with an interesting little twist to it. It's a 'one list a day' three-year journal (by Listography) where every day there's a question to answer with a list of three things to fill in. It was kind of an expensive diary (mind you, I never buy books) but it was so worth it, I never miss an entry and the questions are a perfect way to reflect about your day and keep a positive mind set. I feature my entries quite often on my Instagram stories and encourage you to share your own, so definitely keep an out out for that! It's so much fun and I love sharing your responses.

Listography 3 Year Journal

Last but not least ..

I became more accepting of my pain and my struggles

This might sound very strange but as someone who struggles with her mental health, I realised that I didn't know who I was without my problems. The problems that defined me for so long. The struggles that were part of my identity. Accepting my pain, right now, helps me to discover who I am as a person and it's quite a mourning process. I'm still learning every day but letting go and allowing myself to feel everything I'd been fighting for so long finally gave me a sense of freedom. It's scary but it's so worth it. Getting better and digging into the dept of my soul - through the help of therapy, honestly has been the best decision I have ever made.
SHARE:

4 comments

  1. There is just no such thing as perfection, we are all so unique I am still learning to embrace it myself.

    Candice | Natalya Amour

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true, I guess it's especially hard on us girls :)

      Delete
  2. Helpful revealation indeed. I have added the concept of decluttering to my mind also. Followed by nourishing positive thought and words of wisdom.No insistence on perfection,especially by others.
    N Y Purohit

    ReplyDelete

Blogger Template Created by pipdig