Jolien, 28, Brussels - Belgium


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The Best Mental Health Tweets

My smartphone is an endless pit of screenshots about mental health, mostly tweets, that encouraged me to keep going every single day and to keep believing that I'm going to be okay. Tweets, from strangers, that reminded me that struggling with your mental health isn't something to be embarrassed about, that it is important to talk about our feelings and to be honest. Be honest with ourselves and with the people around us. I wanted to share some of those with you today because the new year is starting and that is something that I've personally always struggled with. New beginnings. Change. I've done a lot of healing in 2018 and I'm planning on taking that energy with me but I'm also afraid. Have I done enough? I embedded a bunch of amazing mental health tweets, for you and for me, to make sure we remember that we're worthy and that it's okay to be afraid, that we have done enough and that we are enough.
Jolien Nathalie

The past six months have been a lot of letting go. Letting go of past feelings, letting go of my past self. I didn't realise to which extent I was actually attached to being depressed and how much I identified with depression as a whole. I pride myself a lot, right now, on the fact that I surround myself with positivity, creativity, people who show vulnerability and that I am part of a supportive community - not only in real life but also online. I follow people who inspire me, who show growth, great work ethic, respect women, understand the importance of mental health and who love having a good laugh. 2018 is soon coming to an end and I'm saying goodbye to my low self esteem, goodbye to depression, anxiety and hello to an improved me. Hello to a strong woman who has embraced healing and has finally started forgiving and believing. Who has learned to trust and accept herself.
Anxiety What To Do

I got this question a while ago on Instagram and I thought I'd revisit it on my blog today. I think that many people don't realise that there is a difference between having anxiety and suffering from an anxiety disorder. Everyone has anxiety once in a while - and having anxiety isn't always something bad, in fact it can actually be helpful when it comes to pushing yourself to reach your goals. But when you suffer from an anxiety disorder, it means that your anxiety is so bad that it is preventing you from living a healthy and happy life. Severe anxiety can come in a lot of different forms and can have a lot of different causes. In my case it was caused by childhood trauma and my symptoms vary from heart palpitations, to excessive sweating, shortness of breath, itching, fatigue, excessive worry, fear and lack of concentration. Helping yourself when you're particularly anxious is hard because it often stops you from being able to think rationally, you're so worried that you're not really capable of distinguishing facts from feelings. Here are some of the things I do when my anxiety is taking me for a run.
Urban Decay Naked Cherry

Even though I've taken a step back from the beauty blogging community this year, makeup is still a big part of my life. I love plastering on a full face! It makes me feel beautiful, it makes me feel like a little bit of an artist and it definitely is something that I consider to be self care. Not only do I thoroughly enjoy doing my makeup, it just makes me happy. 2018 was the year I really started focussing on my mental health, and makeup helped, a lot. I do have to say that as a stay at home girlfriend I probably spend a little too much time in front of the mirror but then again, if I can afford to, why not? You're right, I'm going to enjoy this until the very end. Also, I don't think I've ever had a better makeup routine! Being a former beauty blogger I stopped buying a lot of makeup just for the sake of review. I started focussing more and more on products that I actually liked instead of purchasing items simply for my site. I've had the same makeup routine for about 6 months now so I think I've got my personal face favorites pretty narrowed down. It's a mix of super affordable budget makeup, drugstore makeup and high end makeup, here we go!
Effaclar Moisturizer Review

Dealing with adult acne I'm always on the lookout for the next best skin care product that is going to transform my skin and keep it as smooth and as clear as it can be. Back in the beginning of October I was contacted by La Roche Posay Belgium to try their Effaclar Duo Plus Moisturiser for acne prone skin. Having tried this particular product in the past, last year to be exact, I responded saying that it wasn't what I was looking for at that time. Turns out La Roche Posay has changed and updated the formula ever since - and they asked if I would try it again, which I did for the past month and a half! To make this review extra interesting for you and for me, I purposely waited for my period to come and go - to make sure I give this new moisturiser formula an actual run for its money. Let's go!
Cage Free Bunny

Chloé has been with us for about 8 months now and I've gotten many questions on how I've bunny proofed the apartment and what it's actually like to have a cage free rabbit at home. To be completely honest, I still can't quite believe it myself. I never thought I'd have a rabbit hopping around in my living room, neither did I know that rabbits smell like newborn babies, that they are incredibly smart and that they can be total divas. I've been told Chloé is a very unusual pet to have, I've also been told she's spoiled rotten. Having a cage free bunny is both amazingly rewarding but also hard work. Here's everything I've learned about having a rabbit free roam in your home!
Renting For The First Time

Getting your own place is hella exciting, I know, I did it 5 years ago. I went apartment hunting, scored a new-ish, small, one bedroom flat, exactly where me and my partner wanted to live and moved in 3 months later. The real estate company was all smiles when we signed the contract - and off we went with our keys starting a new adventure, excited to start living together. It is now 2018 and boy our flat has been through a lot. When I think back of how our home looked when we just moved in, it was an absolutely mess. Here's what you need to look out for when you move into your first rental.
Jolien Nathalie

Recovering from depression and anxiety is like going through puberty all over again. It's tough, it's exhausting, it's never ending, it's like high school, pure hell. Mental illness is no joke and although I'm doing much better, my goal isn't to go for "the" cure. My goal is to be able to live healthy and happily alongside my struggles. I was never taught to deal with my feelings, they had to be tucked away for no one to see and having them come out all at once in my twenties has been incredibly overwhelming. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions and a learning lesson not only for me, but also for those around me. Being in recovery has broken relationships, mended some and strengthened others. The relationship that has flourished the most is the one with myself and I couldn't be more proud.

On the 27th of October I celebrated my mental health birthday. My therapist suggested I do it on the 15th but that was a little too soon for me so I just picked a random date. The purpose of this birthday? Celebrate my existence. Sounds quite pathetic now that I've written it down but it had great meaning - and I was a total mess, which makes for some great blogging content, so here we are! Life has been a bit weird lately, not gonna lie. I'm doing well but I've been feeling like I'm a computer trying to download its latest software update and it's going super slow. I also thought a mental health birthday would be me celebrating a certain achievement regarding my recovery but that wasn't the case here. If you've been following me for a while, you must have noticed that I sometimes talk about homework, in relation to my therapy sessions. Whereas I usually just have a good think about it and don't really do any 'homework', this time I did - I celebrated moi.

One of my favorite hobbies at the moment is disagreeing with absolutely anything and anyone, especially on the internet - or so it seems. I'm guessing I just have a lot to say about all the 'popular opinions' that have been going around for a while. People like to mindlessly repeat what they are told, without giving actual thought to what they are saying and without one ounce of critical thinking - as if they don't actually have a brain of their own. I believe that it is my formal duty, as an online creator, to remind you that words mean things and that they don't have less of an impact just because you don't know any better. So, here are 6 common life lessons that I disagree with and that I think you should stop believing too. You're welcome.
Bioderma Beauty Hack

The Bioderma Sensibio Micellar Water is a product that I've been purchasing pretty much ever since it hit the market, I think that was back in 2012 (but I could be wrong). I've always sworn by this as a makeup remover because it's so gentle to the skin and it's never caused me the many issues that other makeup removers have, such as stinging of the eyes, reddening of the skin or even burning sensations. More recently I started using this water for other purposes and I've discovered that this product not only is the world's best makeup remover, it also has a secret beauty hack in store you've definitely never heard of before!
Jolien Nathalie

Apart from going to therapy, there are a number of things that have changed my life tremendously this past year. As I've gotten to learn more about self care and about how important it is to take time for yourself, I've been focussing my energy on making sure that I listen to my body and that I'm aware of my needs. Physically, mentally and spiritually. Finding yourself and discovering what makes you happy, nurturing that forever feeling of wanting to know and learn more, is a journey and one that's only started for me recently. This didn't happen all at once, this was hard work and, oh, so many tears. It was a slow process but here we are, 5 ways I've been living happier life!
LOreal Accord Parfait Foundation

A lot of the makeup and beauty products I use, review and promote aren't cruelty free. I've come to  recognise, especially over the past year, that for many of you this is something extremely important - and I want to preface this post by saying that I absolutely understand why you are so passionate about the topic. As a blogger who doesn't exactly share or seem to show any interest about it on her site, admittedly, I'm sure you can see that this puts me in quite an awkward position. When it comes to animal testing and the beauty industry, there's no denial that this is a controversial and sensitive issue that is difficult to talk about as it is a subject that is often met with a lot of anger and disgust. After yet another 'that product is not cruelty free' comment on one of my recent blogposts I thought I'd finally share with you why exactly I haven't gone the cruelty free route and why your comments, more often than not, leave a bad taste in my mouth. I want to share with you that I'm not as ignorant about the topic as you might think and show you that I actually have been changing things up in my life - without talking about it on my socials.

As much as I don't want to admit my mistakes as a bunny momma, I feel like this post is very important to share as there is so much misinformation out there about how to care for a bunny. You see, many of the products sold in pet shops aren't actually suitable for rabbits. To be honest, I'm kind of confused as to how most of the supplies are still allowed to be sold as they aren't recommended by any vet, rabbit rescue groups or shelters. I'm not a bunny expert by any means but I do want to tell you all about what I've learned, which mistakes I made, how I corrected them and how I could have saved a lot of money if I had known all of this information before getting a pet rabbit.
Garnier Oil Infused Micellar Water

When Garnier released their first Micellar water, back in the days, I felt like they definitely were everyone' saving grace, as there weren't many available in drugstores, escpially for those of us squeezing pennies. They created exactly what we wanted: an affordable product, that is gentle for the skin and great at removing all of your makeup. The pink micellar water in their range has been a repurchase of mine probably over a 1000 times. It wipes your makeup right off so formula wise they have most definitely nailed it. Garnier has released many more micellar waters since then but right now we have something entirely different and exciting again: the Garnier Skin Active Oil Infused Micellar Water, suitable for delicate skin and eyes. Garnier is so excited about their newest product they sent me a bottle to try it for you! Does it work? Let's have a look!

Even though I've made progress mental health wise, I haven't really mentioned the fact that I've actually been struggling loads since we've been back from our Summer holidays. Overall, I do have a more positive mindset and outlook on life, but my attitude in the last month or so has been very up and down. I'm cranky and angry, I've been crying a lot and I have been having those headaches where the pain stretches all the way down to the back my neck. It's almost as if I've been PMS-ing this whole time and it's causing me a lot of anxiety. At first I told myself - oh these post holiday blues are so real - but it seems like they are never ending and I'm just a little confused as to how I haven't managed to pick myself up again.
Essence Insta Perfect Foundation

Essence Cosmetics recently released a new foundation in their makeup line: the Essence Insta Perfect Liquid Makeup Foundation. It is available in 9 different shades and is super affordable as it only retails for just under 5 bucks. Essence promises that their new #instaperfect makeup has a strong matte effect, with buildable coverage that is long lasting and waterproof, yet lightweight. They also encourage you to mix and match their new foundation, if necessary, to attain your perfect shade. I'm very happy Essence finally decided to be more inclusive with their range this time, they're not quite there yet but it's a start. They previously would only have a maximum of 4 different colors. I do have to ask, when will they finally decide to simply call their foundations a 'foundation'? What does liquid makeup even mean?

Something that has been very close to my heart, ever since I started going to therapy, is self care. Growing up I didn't know what self care was, I wasn't allowed to practise self care and when I did I was expected to feel guilty about it. Everything in my life always needed to have a greater purpose, needed to be about others, about helping people and being compassionate. As a result I've never really been compassionate or understanding towards myself. I never felt good enough as a human being and I thought I didn't deserve anything. In fact, when I would be kind to myself the guilt would be so extreme that I would either become sad or angry, or both. Through therapy I'm finally learning that self care is okay and that it is in fact a necessity. Today, I want to touch upon the way self care is often portrayed as an excuse to go shopping or simply spend loads of money. That is not what self care is. There is a very important aspect of self care, especially amongst bloggers, that is not or rarely talked about, especially when it comes to those who struggle with their mental health.
Pixi Highlighter Duo Review

Today marks a special day on my blog, I'm going to be reviewing my first ever Pixi makeup products! I received a gorgeous PR parcel in the mail by the Pixi team and now that I've had time to play around with the samples, I cannot wait to share with you my experience trying products from this amazing brand. The Pixi Glowy Gossamer Duo Highlighters definitely were the items in the parcel that caught my eyes immediately, I'll be reviewing the duos called Subtle Sunrise and Delicate Dew, here are my thoughts!

I got major baby fever at 23, I really wanted a child, I really wanted to be pregnant. Now at 28, not so much anymore. I got scared. I got a little reality check. I learned a lot whilst being in therapy, about family dynamics, about being neglected as a child, about being humiliated and emotionally abused. Today, I am afraid of being a bad mom, about making the same mistakes my parents did. I'm afraid of potentially having to deal with severe postpartum depression and for all the changes my body would go through. At 23 I didn't even give that a second thought, how physically and emotionally demanding it is for a woman, to carry and have a child. On my blog I write about mental health, beauty and more recently a lot of lifestyle topics - such as quitting birth control and body confidence. I like my body now, a lot, and the fact that I didn't enjoy or appreciate it when I was younger makes me sad but also makes me admire and respect my body so much more today. I do have to admit that, somehow, thinking of having children has turned into something that just isn't worth it to me. Not anymore. I struggle with depression and anxiety, which has caused me to be in a lot of physical pain, and now that I've overcome so much - I just can't imagine having a family.
Urban Decay Lip Mousse Blogger PR

Being part of the blogger community is absolutely amazing. The opportunities are endless and the people you meet along the way are incredibly smart, weird, interesting, different, passionate, which all combined brings so much creativity, dispersed all over the internet - for you to find makeup reviews, food, fashion advice, personal stories and so much more. But with all the highs certainly come as many lows and a lot of drama and tea. I was challenged by Laurence from Laupropos to answer 10 questions about my experience as a blogger and be as honest and raw as possible. We're touching on rather sensitive topics such as earning money with your blog, collaborations gone wrong and our thoughts about the blogging community today. Since she is a fellow Belgian blogger this tag was originally created in Dutch but I've done my best to translate every question as accurately as possible! Here we go. 
L'Oreal Paradise Extatic Waterproof Mascara

Having small hooded eyes and being a person that isn't particularly savvy about fake eyelashes or lash extensions, mascara is an absolute must have. It is a product that instantly opens up my look and makes me seem more awake and put together. Mascara wise I'm always looking for the next best thing. My lashes need to look like they're going to outer space and they need to stay there, all day. I have the original L'Oreal Paradise Extatic Mascara but for some reason it didn't really impress me. It got lost in my makeup collection, never to be seen again - until L'Oreal decided to send me their newest edition: the waterproof version. I feel as if they knew I wasn't convinced and they wanted to try me again. The L'Oreal paradise Extatic Waterproof Mascara has the exact same look as the first one except that the tube is blue which, to be completely honest, I'm really into because it makes it very obvious what the mascara is for and what it is supposed to do!
Day In The Life Of A Stay At Home GF

It is only recently that I started being more comfortable with my lifestyle, that I've been accepting of my situation and the fact that everyone has their own story. That I don't owe anyone an explanation. That I don't need to feel ashamed of the fact that I don't work and haven't worked in the past 4 years. That I'm working on myself and that's okay. Being a stay at home girlfriend is nothing to be ashamed of. I've written an article like this before - only that it wasn't really a day in the life of a SAHG, it was a pep talk and one that was very much necessary, as most articles about this topic have quite a negative vibe about them. So here we are, a day in my life as a SAHG, for real this time.
Revolution Conceal & Define Concealer

Have you heard? There's a new drugstore concealer taking over everyone's beauty routine! The Revolution Conceal & Define Concealer: a cruelty free, vegan and full coverage formula that not only keeps it easy on your wallet, retailing for just 5 bucks, but also has been crowned as the ultimate high end makeup dupe. I needed to know, is this truly a must have? Will it reach cult beauty status or is it just a makeup trend? Let's have a look!

Topshop Bella Straw Tote Bag

I've only just come back from a city trip to London and my brain is already on to the next big thing: I'll be turning 28 in about a week and after that my boyfriend and I are going on holiday to Southern Italy, starting with Naples. I'm excited but also very nervous. This holiday was planned long in advance, which is something we usually don't do, because this time around we also had to book a petsitter, who'll be taking care of our bunny Chloé whilst we're gone. The level at which I have been adulting I don't think has ever reached this altitude. I've changed so much in the past months that I can't quite believe it, with loads of ups and downs for sure but I'm growing steady. Among other things, me and my boyfriend just celebrated our 6 year anniversary and I hadn't given it much thought up until now, 6 whole years is just wow! Time goes so fast when you're close to being 30.
Swimwear For Women With Small Breasts

I didn't always love my small breasts like I do now. As a young girl, and a late bloomer, being flat chested was something that I had a hard time dealing with. I was bullied for it, called names. I already wasn't having the best time at school, so the fact that also my body was a reason for others to bother me didn't help. It wasn't until I had boyfriends who never had anything negative to say about my A cup that I was comfortable in my own body. Yes, I owe a lot of my body confidence to boys. I realise that sounds like a weird thing to say but it's the truth. Those boys then left but my body confidence never did, it only improved. Today's post is about embracing your small beautiful boobies in collaboration with Hunkemoller for their Doutzen Stories Collection. The best part about this collab? That this post will be a crazy trip down memory lane! Hunkemoller is where I got my first brahs as a young girl. I still have one of them to this day, it's a red sporty kind of bra. Maybe a little TMI but it is still in great condition, I promise! 
When You Have Not Worked In Years Due To Depression And Anxiety

My last 3 therapy sessions have been really hard - productive, but hard. There seems to be a lot more to talk about and to dig into than I initially thought. I recently posted my 2 year therapy update and even though I'm still struggling mental health wise, I've been a lot happier which is why, I think, I've been underestimating my sessions in the past months. Work is something I talk about a lot, with my therapist. The fact that I really want to work and that I haven't worked in nearly 4 years. That I haven't really done anything apart from blogging actually. Not to say blogging is easy but I sometimes wish I would have done more. Taken some classes maybe, short courses, study for a driver's license .. Even a simple hobby or some volunteering would have been fine but I've been too scared to show my face in any of those places. The anxiety that comes with trying new things is enormous. Being afraid of something new runs in my family. We are creatures of habit and even though that is okay - I feel like in our case it is debilitating.
Mental Health Update

I'm going to be honest, even though they were weekly appointments, 2 years of therapy flew by very quickly. I can't believe it's been this long. I remember my first appointment like it was yesterday. Having said that I still go to therapy now, twice a month, which was a decision I made. I felt like my sessions were being more productive that way. My therapist happened to be absent quite often at the end of last year and it actually suited me well. With progress comes a lot of changes and that not only in my personal life but also on my socials. It's been rather quiet on my blog lately and I wanted to talk about that. I feel as if I took a huge leap in my recovery, that I've made some very big improvements but maybe too much too fast. I'm overwhelmed and I'm in a period again where I'm just really tired and I haven't been productive at all as a blogger. The best part of this situation, surprisingly, is that I've finally figured out why - it's because I can't accept that I can succeed.
New Free Roam Bunny

Chloé is potty trained, she's an affectionate little baby bunny and she loves to cuddle and play. She understands the words: kisses, ball, come here and of course her name, Chloé. She's about 9 months old and really enjoys taking long naps under the couch and pushing her princess ball around in our living room. Yes, she's a free roam rabbit, or almost completely free roam. We still keep her in a big cage at night because we've only had her for a little over a month. Chloé wasn't something we had planned, she was an impulse buy at a pet shop.
Urban Decay Hifi Shine Lip Gloss

A product that I've really grown to love these past weeks are the newest lipglosses by Urban Decay named the Hifi Shine Ultra Cushion Lip Glosses. I received a little PR parcel from the brand a while ago and I couldn't wait to try them. They sent me 2 shades, a beautiful brown nude called 1993 and a plum color called Backtalk. Honestly, they couldn't have sent me more perfect shades, it's literally all I wear, nudes and plums! Urban Decay swears these are the holy grail of glosses with an ultra shiny formula, that is cushiony soft, long lasting and super comfortable.
Stopped Taking Birth Control

I've been off my birth control for about 3 years now and I have to say that quitting probably was one of the best decisions I made in my twenties. Even though it was a great method to prevent pregnancy, for me personally, I started to feel things weren't right anymore. I couldn't really pin point as to why but considering I had been taking the pill for already a good 8 years, I figured that it wasn't actually such a crazy idea to maybe stop taking it. I was 24 at the time and I started to get worried about the effects of taking the pill long term, I didn't feel good and I just wanted everything to be okay. Apart from my boyfriend, I didn't actually have a lot of support when it came to quitting the pill. Not from my doctor and not from my family. Everyone thought it was weird, why come off the pill if you don't want to make babies?
Review Embryolisse Lait Crème Concentré For Acne Prone Skin

Ever since I started struggling with acne I've been having a lot of trouble finding a good moisturiser that doesn't make my skin break out or cause some kind of irritation. Even the ones targeted for acne prone skin aren't that great of a fit for me, in fact, they usually just make my skin situation so much worse. The Embryolisse moisturiser is a product I've always heard great things about - especially that it's a must have in the kit of a lot of makeup artists, mostly used as a makeup primer. As someone who does suffer from acne, loves makeup, but doesn't necessarily have oily skin this seemed like something I should try. Because the brand Embryolisse is not that readily available here, I decided to order mine on Boozyshop. Here's what I think about it.
How I Edit My Blog / Instagram Photos

Finding the perfect way to edit your pictures isn't always that easy. I know it wasn't for me. As a blogger it is important to keep your content interesting, we want those clicks, we want those likes. Not just for the numbers - but to make sure that our hard work is seen, that our stories are heard and that our photos are shared, pinned and reposted. Having content that is visually pleasing is the goal of every blogger, it's the first thing people see when they visit your blog or website. Of course not all bloggers focus heavily on their photography but it is a great way to set your blog apart from others and attract more readers. I've been asked many times about how I edit my blog / Instagram photos so here it is, all my editing secrets spilled in one consistent post.
feeling confident without makeup

I started wearing makeup fairly late, I was almost 20 I think. Of course I experimented with some mascara, eyeliner and little bit of lipstick when I was a teen - but base products such as foundation, concealer, powder, blush... those were all foreign to me. Today, I cannot imagine myself not wearing any makeup. I've gotten so used to having this flawless complexion that I wonder how I used to feel so confident without it. I'm kinda glad makeup techniques changed so much over the years though. I remember my teachers piling on orange foundations and bright pink blushes like there was no tomorrow. Now it's all about the no makeup makeup look which, to be completely honest, probably requires more makeup than any other look, but it really shows how styles and trends have evolved over the years. There are times when I feel completely fine leaving the house without a full face and there are times when there’s just absolutely no way. Feeling confident without makeup for me has become a little bit tricky.

I'm not sure how many of you remember this story, as it happened almost 3 years ago, but to say that I am traumatised by the whole situation it very much an understatement. "Back in May of 2015 a family gathering was planned in my apartment, for my boyfriend. He was turning 30 and his family wanted to fly over (from Italy to Belgium) to celebrate. I didn't end up celebrating much of that birthday as I had gone completely insane already days before that. The way I was treated by my in-laws, in my own house, was absolutely horrific." This is what I wrote then, followed by a detailed description of everything that went down. I've been wanting to update that story for a while already but it's taken me some time as it is, still, a very sensitive matter. I haven't seen or talked to my in-laws since and to be honest I'd like to keep it that way, at least for another while.
Jolien Nathalie

I recently came across this tweet saying 'doing your best isn't working until you're on the verge of a mental breakdown'. That is something I need to remind myself of every single day. I'm one of those people that tries too hard. To the point where I just go crazy. It's one of the reasons why I've been inconsistent with blogging lately. It's taken me some time to understand my boundaries and to be able to think rationally, to distinguish what I'm feeling from what is reality. I realised how much time and effort I put into actually wanting to feel good. How careful I am, how I force myself to listen to my body. How many rules I set so I can simply take a deep breath and tell myself everything is going to be okay.

I've been thinking a lot about how I'd follow up on my come back post 'We Need To Talk' because, to be completely honest, I'm a little nervous putting this up as I genuinely did not expect my previous post to be as successful as it was. You were all so supportive and I cannot thank you enough. 2018 got off to a rough start: new beginnings, new goals, new years resolutions, loads of changes - it all scares the absolute shit out of me. It makes me doubt the things I do and not only do I doubt myself when it comes to my blog but I also doubt you - and for that I feel like I owe you a bit of an apology.
We Need To Talk Jolien Nathalie

So, I stopped blogging for a while. That happened. Then a lot of other stuff happened and then I realised I'm basically just trying to figure out what my life is at the moment. What I want to do. What I would like to be. Who I would like to be which, sadly, is what I've been doing for as long as I have been breathing I think, for as long as I can remember. I beat myself up for it, all the time. It makes me sad that I don't know what to do. That I don't have goals, or pretend I don't have goals, or think I pretend I don't have goals. I've been struggling a lot these past months and it hurts, so what I do is try to control the things around me. My house has been looking real neat ever since. My hair too. And my spending habits have made a huge shift.