I noticed whenever I write a personal post, I'm either very sad or very happy. I'm nothing in-between like today, never, and I want to change that. Even though I like to look back at my personal posts I've been feeling very conscious about them the last few months, I've been worried that a lot of you might think I'm a negative person. I'm not an optimist, I know that for a fact, but I'm not a pessimist either, I'm a realist and a dreamer.

Being down to earth is a part of my character that a lot of you appreciate and as much as I'm proud to show where I stand and how I want my content to be perceived, I don't share enough about my dreams and goals in life. The thing is, I always tell myself I don't have any, but that's not true. I'm scared to acknowledge I have dreams and goals because they feel so far out of reach and beyond anything I could ever see myself accomplish. No one ever believed in me or my passions and as a result I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough, no matter how hard I try. I come from a background where technology and beauty is labeled as something that brainless and lazy people do. I was taught to appreciate books and art instead, which are occupations I simply am not interested in at all. I wish the people around me could see how much work and creativity goes into this blog, how much of my life I put into this blog and how much effort I put into my online content, because this is what I want to do. One of my goals for my youtube videos was to have each video reach one thousand views and not so long ago I finally hit the mark and I'm so happy. I'm a little more anxious about putting my content out there though, both because I want to keep the views up and because I'm not one to film morning and evening routines, fashion videos or day in the life videos for the simple reason that my filming camera is just not made for it. I wish I would/could film it with the equipment I have now but I'm too much of a perfectionist for that. If you follow my site closely you might have noticed I update blog posts all the time and make sure everything always lines up with the current trends, something I wish I could do with my videos. Talking about updates, I've been upgrading quite a lot of things lately, I changed my blog template which I'm beyond excited about, I'm changing the furniture in my apartment (work in progress, will be posting pictures in the future), I spring cleaned and modernised my wardrobe and went to the hairdresser, after 3 years, for a trim and a natural balayage (highlights). It was the first time I colored my hair and I'm loving the texture and manageability the balayage gave to my blonde locks.