The article you're about to read I wrote when I was in a very, very dark place. It's been among my drafts on Blogger ever since and I never really knew what to do with it. Every time I read it, it makes me cry and it reminds me of how I never want to go back to that place again. This is what I want to let go in 2016 and if possible, forever.

"In a year time I went from being a confident, outgoing woman, to a hermit. I'm embarrassed and mortified. I spend my days wondering in my apartment obsessed with the fact that I cannot seem to figure out my life, that I've failed at everything that is expected from me. Finding a place and balance in this world is troubling me more than ever and it has triggered an enormous amount of anxiety. I am unable to function properly and I cannot stand people anymore. I don't remember a day passing by not being sad or depressed, in fact, I'm even convinced I was depressed the day I was born. I probably cried, begging to go back into that warm place where I didn't have to be a part of the world. I'm struggling with a mind poisoned by destroyed self worth, hopeless dreams and a cruel society. I'm sad everyday, asking myself why, wanting to crawl into a whole and die. I gave up on life a while ago, it's too hard and I just can't deal with it anymore. There's this one quote that feeds itself on my depressive thoughts: people don't commit suicide because they want to die, they commit suicide because they want the pain to stop. Scary word suicide, it creeps around in my brain sometimes, but one thing always comes back stronger: hope. Dreaming about still being able to achieve great things, dreaming about becoming the greatest person I can be. Hope is torture and it's killing me."