I've chosen to have a Merry Christmas with myself, my new (awesomely comfortable) couch, my gorgeous little Christmas tree and a fridge overloaded with delicious food. The self care I practised this passed year will for sure be put to the test I'm anxious to see how I will manage. It was hard to tell my family I'm not going to be there, at our yearly Christmas family dinner. For weeks I tried to figure out which words I should choose so I wouldn't start any drama or a total pity party. The first one is something my family is very good at so I wrote a whole letter at first, because I wanted to be honest and explain, but I ended up sending just a once sentenced email saying: 'I wanted to let you all know that I'm not going to be there this Christmas'. The one person who hurt my feelings to their core, by stating I'm the reason every winter holiday party has been ruined in the past, blamed me yet again for all the misery that has gone on in our lives, and it took me some time to respond as I wanted to make sure that this was taken seriously. Self care has been in the very focus of my goals this year and I've decided that I want to be at peace. I don't deserve to be disrespected, to be treated like a piece of shit and a scapegoat. I don't want to attend a party where sadness is a competition and happiness a crime, where hurting others' feelings is norm and making family members cry a routine. It's not right, it's not healthy and as I finally have learned to have respect for myself, I will not contribute to this madness anymore, so I texted back: 'I'm not going, I've made that decision as a mature woman and I'd like you to respect that'.
I wish I had a more cheerful holiday blog post to start the weekend but the truth of the matter is that there is a lot of pressure around this time of year to have the perfect celebration, and perfection unfortunately is pretty rare and in some cases even impossible. All you need to remember, always, is to be kind to yourself.
More of me? Take a look on Youtube, Facebook or Instagram and don't forget to follow me on Bloglovin' or Twitter to make sure you don't miss out on any posts!