During my stay in Milan, I was reminded once more why I don't really get along with women (shocking I know). My therapist explained that I'm pretty, and pretty ladies are often seen as a threat. I don't think I'm the most beautiful woman on earth but I do know one thing for sure, I've never been insecure about my body or the way I look. Even though I can understand how that might bring up insecurities in other women, I'm not a vile, cocky or arrogant person. I don't walk around with an attitude and that's where I get really confused.
I got to meet the girlfriends of my boyfriend's friends for the first time and it honestly was an uncomfortable experience. One of them didn't want to look at me from the very start, she introduced herself yes, but her eyes wondered around me as she was speaking, to my boyfriend mostly. There I was, trying to keep a friendly face plastered on whilst she basically bluntly ignored my presence. It's not the first time this has happened to me, let's say most girls are actually quite cute about it. A simple smile usually shows they're even more shy than me, and that they want to talk but don't really know how. This time it was different, there was no smiling, only trouble. Vibes like this have an immediate effect on my mood, I start feeling anxious and wonder why the hell I even agreed to be a part of the narrative in the first place. Whilst my boyfriend was catching up with his mates, my mind was focussed on only one question: Why is she behaving like a high school cunt? My therapist said when something like this happens I have to make it clear to myself that I'm not playing whatever game just got presented to me, so I decided to let her be until she was ready to actually have a decent conversation, which happened ultimately, for maybe 10 minutes, out of the whole entire evening.
Situations like this remind me of my teenage years, about how I was bullied and how I desperately tried to seek validation from the popular crowd. In my twenties, when I finally got a feel for the word friendship and what good people were like, I promised and committed myself to never put energy in people like that again, because they are, simply, not interested in your friendship. They are insecure and to be honest, in my case, tiring. Even though I try not to break my brain over this too much, it makes me sad, this type of attitude prevented her and me to have a relaxed and enjoyable evening. I'm not saying she can't be insecure, I'm just appalled at how girl-on-girl hate has a place in women's lives this way.
Q: Have you had similar experiences? What would you have done in my case? Why do you think girls hate each other so much? Leave it in the comments below!
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