My therapist explained to me I wasn't given the tools or foundation to grow as a person. I burned out because I've been trying to find myself and find a supportive environment my whole life and lacked help. Even though I've learned a lot of things about myself in the past couple of years and am fully aware of character I don't know how to utilize that information to my advantage. I can't help but panicking every single time I think about my future and I feel like I've failed when it comes to the basics about what is expected from a human being.
I'm sad because I feel like I missed out on so many opportunities and yet I have no idea of what I want, or in better terms: I don't have the confidence to express what I want. Even though I thought I had accepted myself the way I am, I couldn't be more wrong. Whereas most girls are insecure about their bodies I think about how I don't seem to be able to have regular anythings. I either have very close friendships or I don't have any at all, I either have one drink or way too many. Where most people are able to make a distinction between private life and work, there isn't any for me, work for me is personal and I either work too much or I don't work at all. I'm a very social and outgoing person, but then there's also this other me: a girl that hates the whole world and locks herself up at home for weeks at a time. Too scared, shy and anxious to face the outside. I'm either confident about all my flaws or I'm not at all and it's frustrating.
One month of therapy update
Life update: my sobriety & making changes
A heartbreaking letter to my father
Note to self: life is more than academic skills
How to: deleting negativity from your life
A feel good song to beat the blues
My in-law horror story
Things I want to let go in 2016
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