Life after depression is weird, I almost feel like I sobered up somehow, like an alcoholic who quit drinking. My mind is clear and the sadness that was a part of myself for so long is no longer there and it feels good, but unfamiliar. It's making me a bit anxious, I know that I am able to do great things now but I don't really know where to start. The realisation that I am worthy of living and worthy of being respected by the living around me is scary.
Setting boundaries for myself and making changes has proven very difficult especially because I've been mourning my past very heavily for the lasts weeks. My mind is fine but my body is tired of all the negativity it once stored and still stores. I don't have the energy to face the outside, to face people or to face social situations. I've been learning some coping techniques at my therapy sessions but I have yet to put them to the test. I've been finding some comfort in isochronic tones for now, which is something I used to listen to when I was very down in the dumps and it helped my anxiety tremendously.
A lot of you seem to be confused about what I do for a living and, although I really dislike answering that question, I'll try to explain. I'm a stay-at-home girlfriend, meaning I'm like a stay-at-home mom, but without children. I burned out two years ago at university and suffered a depression relapse shortly after. Before that I used to be an au pair/nanny in Italy which was something I very much enjoyed. I decided to quit after four years because being an au pair is not a job that is legally recognised. I am not working at the moment because I'm trying to heal and restore my mind from things that have happened in my life, and are still happening. I'm working on myself, focussing on what I deem important and what I actually want to accomplish here and now. My online content has become a very important part in that and it's something that makes me happy.
Q: What are some of your struggles right now? Life goals? How do you stay positive? Let me know in the comments!
More of me? Take a look on Youtube, Facebook or Instagram and don't forget to follow me on Bloglovin' or Twitter to make sure you don't miss out on any posts!