Personal - I'm a SAHG



Funny enough I only found out about this term yesterday. Of course I knew what a 'stay at home girlfriend' was but not that is was referred to as SAHG. I caught a nasty tweet about about it on twitter, although I'm pretty sure the girl didn't mean for it to be that way. After that I decided to google being a SAHG and the results were just as hurtful.

I'm not proud to be a one but I didn't know people actually expected you to be ashamed of it. I am ashamed, and very much so. I'm a 24 year old college drop out, who's unemployed and spends her days at home waiting for her boyfriend. The number of times I've cried my eyes out about it is endless. I never thought I would end up like this, especially not after my au pair adventure. Everyone seems to think it's easy, the truth of the matter is that the pressure and shaming that comes with being a SAHG is unbearable. It caused me not to have the courage to make friends or even go out with my boyfriend's mates. Being a stay at home girlfriend meeting new people makes me nervous, what if they ask me what I do?! I tried the 'I'm looking for a job' answer but conversations quickly become painfully awkward. Also meeting old friends makes me uncomfortable. My boyfriend tells me I should be a proud blogger and vlogger, but am I really? I have very little self confidence about the stuff I do online and it's nowhere near where I would like it to be. I'm scared of a lot of things now, I'm even scared to walk into an employment agency. I find interview type situations incredibly intimidating and I'm not good in selling myself, improvising or public speaking. I'm absolutely mortified and this SAHG situation is not helping. I've been dying to start pilates or dance classes but I'm just too scared of what people will think of me. 

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13 comments

  1. Ik begrijp het volledig en ik denk dat ik het ook heel moeilijk zou vinden en ook de neiging zou hebben om contact (en zo akward conversaties over werk) vermijden. Los daarvan: weet dat je echt niet beschaamd moet zijn! Soms loopt het gewoon niet meteen zoals je gedacht had. En je mag best trots zijn op je YT en blog! :) Btw ik kende de term SAHG helemaal niet! Take your time figuring out your life, and don't let others shame you for it (however hard that may be:)).

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  2. Love this post. Im a SAHG too. And yes, u should be a proud blogger. :)

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    1. Thank you so much :) you're so sweet! Have a nice day <3

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  3. Weer wat geleerd.. ze verzinnen tegenwoordig ook overal een afkorting voor. En helemaal stom dat zo'n afkorting eigenlijk gebruikt wordt in een negatieve context. Mensen hebben zo snel een oordeel klaar terwijl ze helemaal niet weten/realiseren hoe je als persoon in het leven staat.

    Ik vond dit een mooie en moedige post om jezelf zo kwetsbaar op te stellen. En misschien ben je nog niet waar je wil zijn met je blog/YouTube-kanaal/etc... maar het ziet er allemaal mooi en goed uit. En je enthousiasme spat er in de filmpjes van af. :)

    Dus geloof wat je vriend tegen je zegt, neem die lessen.. en geniet! :)

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    1. Ik had je berichtje vannacht al gelezen omdat ik niet kon slapen, nu is het al vrijdag middag en ik weet nog steeds niet wat ik moet zeggen :) je bent zo aardig en begripvol, bedankt daarvoor! En dat van die afkortingen is helemaal waar, I blaim it on social media! The shorter the better, ik word daar te oud voor! x)

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    2. Ik ben blij dat jij het fijn vond om het te lezen. :)

      Fijn weekend!

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  4. I'm 34, got retrenched a year ago, fell pregnant, still unemployed- very depressed (not about my lil one) but the whole work situation and staying at home

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    1. Hey Sweetie :) thank you for sharing your story with me. I completely understand how you feel. You're lucky you have your little baby that keeps standing <3 Try to get comfortable with your situation, it's something my boyfriend reminds me of every single day. It will make you feel better and then you'll find the strenght to make some changes. Xoxoxo

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  5. How terrible that random people should want to make you (or any other SAHG) feel bad about your life! Everyone's life has ups and downs and I don't think anyone should have the right to cast judgement. I am so mad now :)

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    1. Thanks Sweetie! I think people are quick to judge becasue they don't understand the situation :) Xxxx

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  6. Jolien, don't let it get to you! I know this is an older post, but it resonated with me so much as for the past few years have been in a similar situation. Thank you for sharing it, really. But think about it like this -- you are amazing, you touch so many people with your blog and videos (me included) by just being yourself, being at this point of your life journey, so the way i see it you have a lot to be proud of. You go girl!

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    1. Thank you so much, you're so sweet, it feels good to hear that :) I would to love to hear more of your story if you don't mind. It's always nice to connect with someone with the same experiences :) Xxx

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